It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
