He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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