I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize