I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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