Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
