Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
