All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Sober January is a disaster.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize