i would punch a child for taco bell
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize