Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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