The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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