i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
