Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
