we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize