Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
