Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
