I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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