Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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