my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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