Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
