Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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