We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
