then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
