Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
