tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
