You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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