I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
