I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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