the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
