Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
True strength comes from lack of pants
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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