if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
