Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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