I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
