Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
