somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
