I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
