So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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