he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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