i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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