we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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