oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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