yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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