what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
