It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
