Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
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