Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize