Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
