People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
