the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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