i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize