so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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