id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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