Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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