i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
