we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
