Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
