I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
