But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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