she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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