somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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