i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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