So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
